~Uncle Earl Stops Again~

Earl was headed home again so he stopped to see us. Owen loves this man.
I finally convinced Earl to smile for the camera.

Somewhere we never thought we would be

On Mother's Day we decided if the weather was nice we would take a picnic and go visit Landry's grave. The weather cooperated so we went. Owen does not love his strolleror the wind so his day wasn't the very best, or maybe he was sad because that has been going around at our house. Bentley and Abby had a ball. I wish I could have just a little bit of their strength and faith. They know exactly where Landry is and seem to be fine with that. Abby gets sad sometimes and cries, but Bentley says there is no reason to be sad anymore!! Wow, he amazes me! Anyway, the wind had been terrible the week before and had blown flowers off of graves. Bentley and Abby ran around gathering up flowers along the fence and brought them to Landry's grave. (I am not real sure how I feel about robbing flowers to decorate his grave, but they were happy.) They split up the the flowers so they could decorate their great-grandma's too.Lenn bought two little solar lights for Landry and the Dragon fly in the middle is from a good friend in Cokeville. Funny thing is that she wanted to just leave it there and not tell me who it came from but when she got home and put one together for her grandma she realized she didn't turn Landry's on. So she had to call and tell me it needed to be turned in order to work.

Lenn perfecting the placement of the lights. They had to be perfectly level.

Me with two of my boys. I could have never guessed that I would be spending Mother's Day at a cemetery to be with all of my family. I was there again last Saturday and it was so nice to see that sod had been placed over his grave and it looked so much better. We ordered the headstone last Friday and as crazy as it may sound I cannot wait to see it. We will post it when it finally gets here. We decided to do Owen's too, I know depressing huh? Anyway it is two teardrops with a block between them that will have Christ with a boy and a baby.

~Two very special boys~

A sweet little child, at a party one day,
when toys were being given away,
discovered a broken one and with a smile said,
"I'll take it you see, I know my Daddy can fix anything,
and soon it will be good as new."

And once, perhaps, in Heaven one day,
when bodies were being given away,
A sweet little child, discovered a broken one,
and with a smile said,
"I'll take it, you see, I know my father
can fix anything and someday it will be
good as new."

My sister-in-law sent me this poem after Owen was born and it happens to be perfect for our sweet little boys. Thanks Carly!

We were sent another poem by a lady in Randolph that is great too.

Heaven’s Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
It’s time again for another birth,
Said the angels to the Lord above.
“This special child will need much love.
His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show
And he’ll require extra care
From the folks he meets way down there.
He may not run of laugh or play:
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won’t adapt,
And he’ll be know as handicapped.
So let’s be careful where he’s sent,
We want his life to be content,
Please, Lord, find parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they were asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they will know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven’s very special child.”

Dear Landry

This is a letter from a dear NICU friend who has been through her own struggles of losing a sweet baby. We barely know each other, but it seems like we have known each other for a life-time or even longer. She posted this on her blog and I wanted to make sure I had it on ours. Thanks Ashley, we love you guys.

Dear Landry,

I'm grateful you were able to come see your family, meet them, and stay with them for awhile. I'm grateful you were blessed with the mommy and daddy you have now, for eternity. I'm grateful you have such a beautiful sister and two handsome brothers, who will always remember you. I'm grateful you were able to visit the earth, if only for a short time.

And now, you are back in heaven. I never got to meet you face to face. I'm so sad. I wish I could have. But, one day, we'll get to meet. Until then, watch over your family. They all have a long road to endure.

You see, Landry, it's not easy to loose a child, regardless of how long you were able to have them be a part of your earthly life. As one "angel mom" put it, a part of a mothers soul dies with her child... that part of her soul never breathes again. I think it's the same for daddy's souls. I'm also sure it's the same, but also different, for brothers and sisters too. It's hard. I can tell your mommy misses you, with all her heart. Landry, you have a beautiful, kind, STRONG mommy and daddy. You are so blessed. Their hearts are aching. They are shattered. They feel so much sorrow, it's indescribable. It's not fair to have to be the "strong" ones, the ones who at many times, feel so alone in their trials.

It's not fair to be a parent who endures the loss of a child, to continue on for the rest of our lives, smiling, laughing, and facing each day as best we can, while deep, deep down, we are broken. We are alone. We are different. It's a world few who are "inexperienced" even dare think about visiting, and that makes it hard too.

But, it's not fair that the rest of the world doesn't get the opportunity to be receive the greatest blessing God could possibly give: a beautiful, celestial child. There is nothing comparable. There is nothing as priceless. Because of our blessing in receiving priceless children like you, we find strength to endure the loneliness. Our celestial children make this loneliness bearable. Our celestial children make the loneliness WORTH IT. I know I'm probably not making sense. I know you know what I mean.

I know you have brought such a light and hope to your family. I also know they miss you with all their souls.

Watch over them, Landry. They need you as their angel. Words won't bring the peace they need right now. Only the companionship of their sweet little angel can offer them the peace they need. I know you are with them. I know you love them. We love them too.

We pray you will be able to spend some time with them, as their angel. We pray they will feel you close by.

Would you mind telling our little angel princess that we love and miss her? Please let her know we wouldn't trade her for anything. We are grateful for her, just as your family is grateful for you. Thank goodness our families are forever.

With all our hearts,Nic & Ashley and li'l angel Mercy